We all know drinking alcohol’s a big no-no when you’re pregnant (and many of us choose to have the odd half-glass of champers anyway, myself included), but the other day my friend was relaying a story about her naturopath friend who was “shocked” to meet a heavily pregnant woman who didn’t know what fish oil tablets were. “Tell me you’ve been taking your fish oil tablets!” she wailed at this poor woman. As though it were the biggest sin you could partake in whilst pregnant (after drinking margaritas and smoking a pack a day).


At this point I stepped in to defend myself and any other pregnant woman who either doesn’t know about fish oil tablets, or chooses not to take them. I’m vegetarian and have been for almost 15 years, so I don’t eat fish, and this is my moral choice. Does this mean I’m being selfish and stunting my child’s growth? My boyfriend keeps moaning about how our baby’s going to be a simpleton because I won’t feed myself “brain food” to aid its development, but I’m pretty sure my own mum didn’t pop fish oil tablets when I was born, and I think I turned out ok.

There seems to be a big rulebook these days about all the supplements you ought to take, the exercises you must do and how frequently you must do them (what? You’re not doing pilates three times a week?), the birth plan you should write. Whatever happened to taking it as it comes? Aren’t we setting ourselves up for disappointment by loading all this extra pressure on? In the past six weeks I’ve been lectured about:

1. Having a 4D scan – apparently it will expose my unborn baby to unnecessary radiation.


2. Knowing in advance whether I’m going to have an epidural, because if I “take it as it comes” it’ll be too late. (Incidentally my doctor and the midwives at the hospital refuted both of these claims.)


3. Moving to an area where the children’s hospital isn’t local – imagine how you’d feel if it were a life and death situation and you couldn’t get there in time!


4. Taking fish oil tablets – if you take them, your baby’s brain will grow and if you don’t, it won’t. (Another thing my doctor assured me was false information.)


5. Eating meat (surely now that you’re pregnant you’ll drop that silly vegetarian nonsense, for the baby’s sake?) (Again – the doctor said vegetarians tended to be *more* in touch with their nutritional intake and were less likely to need supplements than meat eaters.)

I know it’s human nature to want to lecture each other, but I think we do enough worrying as it is during pregnancy (at least during the first one) that we don’t need the extra stress. We all do the best we can within the guidelines of our own belief systems. Isn't that enough?