The last few months have been a voyage of discovery for me, and I don’t just mean the changes taking place in my body and the stuff I’ve learnt about fetuses.

I’m talking about the secret world of custom cushions, blankets, clothing and other things designed to make pregnancy and breastfeeding less of a pain. Whilst I’m still mildly terrified of having to navigate the booming industry of baby products (just this week I’ve learnt about BPA-free plastic bottles, swaddling that mimics the womb, Velcro-powered baby sleeping apparatuses (apparati?), and slings that are not just ergo-friendly for mums but also supportive of the baby’s fragile spine – and god help you if you choose the wrong product and endanger your child’s development), I’m at the stage of just being a whale-like creature who can’t reach her toes and struggles to get a decent night’s sleep, and clearly has too much time on her hands for surfing the internet. So I’ve compiled my top five cool inventions for pregnant and breastfeeding women:


1. The pregnancy pillow
The first one I came across was the pregnancy pillow. A friend who recently gave birth recommended I buy myself one – a body-length pillow you can rest your top leg on (and your bump, when it grows big enough) while you’re lying on your side.


Great in theory, but it’s driving a literal wedge between my boyfriend and me. He calls my pillow “Sausage Man” and gets rather jealous of it, shoving it out of the bed at every possible opportunity. During the past cold winter weeks Sausage Man has actually hogged the doona and this causes nightly showdowns between the three of us.


Also trying to flip from one side to another has become impossible without disrupting the delicate bedding balance, so I find myself sleeping for 8 hours solid on my left side, and in the morning feel like I’m 80 years old.

2. The booby booster
Saw this one on “The New Inventors” (an Australian programme on the ABC) a couple of weeks ago. It’s a sling for breastfeeding and it keeps your nipple in your baby’s mouth – particularly useful for larger breasted women. Everyone went mad for this one, judges and viewers alike. I’m not yet at breastfeeding stage yet so maybe it’ll make more sense when I get there, but I’m very interested in anything that lessens the inevitable stress I’m going to create for myself when the time comes.


3. Breastfeeding clothes
These are designed to prevent you from having to flash all your stomach flesh when you feed your baby in public. You can unclip a top layer, drop it down, move the bottom layer out of the way, and leave pretty much everything covered except your nipple. (Incidentally, for those days when you just want to wear normal clothes like a normal person, there are shawls and blankets for protecting your modesty. Special breastfeeding ones. That cost $50.)

4. The tummy shield
A special seatbelt for pregnant women. The straps go over your thighs instead of cutting across your bump, so that in the event of an accident or any impact, the baby bounces against your womb (which absorbs the shock) and not the seatbelt. Reading the website makes me not want to go near another car until after my baby’s born.

5. A special mattress for those of us who used to enjoy lying on our stomachs
Ok, this one hasn’t actually been invented yet (though a quick search on Google reveals a US patent for a mattress with an adjustable cavity for pregnant bellies!) but I was moaning recently to my friend about how I miss being able to lie on my stomach at night. Ever the engineer’s daughter, she suggested a mattress with a hole cut out for your belly. Just like a massage table has a hole for your face. Of course we haven’t done any research as to how medically viable it is to lie on your stomach when it’s suspended upside down in the air, but if either of us ever get a burst of motivation, we could be the next New Inventors!